15th April 2020

Anonymous client’s treatment journey, day 10

We’re sharing the 6th instalment of a series of blogs which follows the significant event form thoughts of one anonymous client. It allows us to give you a raw insight into emotions and feelings that can be experienced as someone progresses through therapeutic treatment here.

 

Significant Event thoughts on day 10 at Broadway Lodge

The most significant event of today was: Workshop/ music group was really powerful. Group environment was important to connect with peers. To develop empathy – support.  It was uncomfortable to listen to your track in front of peers – to feel the rush of emotion. I began to think that maybe I’m not a psychopath like most people say. In fact I’m actually the opposite. I took drugs and hurt myself because of those emotions. I never had the tools to deal with it.

Why was it important to me? I’ve been holding on to all that hurt, resentment, embarrassment, disgrace and shame. Holding onto it all nearly destroyed me and everyone close to me. I ran away from those feelings, that reality, myself. The more I couldn’t cope the harder I used. The nastier I became. The more I hated myself. I treat people the way I was, the way I felt. I felt the pressure in my head I couldn’t stop myself reacting (crying). I fell apart! In front of people for the first time in a long time. I still don’t know who or what I am but I’m getting somewhere. I’m changing! And that’s soooo welcome. I feel relief. Lighter!”

 

Summary

Music can be really emotive and at Broadway Lodge, it’s used as a powerful tool to allow clients to connect to emotions and the buried conscious which had been masked by addiction. The workshops help to bring down any defensive walls that the individual has built as a protection mechanism which cause the feelings of emotion to be blocked.